Just something I wrote.

Just something I wrote today. Sort of a mix of poetry and prose. ...I think.No matter. I hope you enjoy it.

Silence.
She takes in a breath, as shallow as it may be. Her face is streaked from tears shed many.
Why?
Why is she running?
Why is she hiding?
Why is she crying?
She has no answers, for her too any questions. She seeks them, she needs them. Yet she has them not.
Why she cannot find them, she does not know.
Why she searches, she does not understand.
Why she is, is a mystery.
Yet she presses on.
Why does it feel like she is so empty?
A shell.
Maybe that’s what she is.
Clearly.
Invisible.
While the world goes on.
Without her.
Looking beyond her.
Looking through her.
Through her.
Yet nothing is there.
Through her…
Emptiness.
Why is she?
She is.
But she is not.
Is life a paradox?
Perhaps so.
Perhaps not.
She may never know.
Again her eyes blur over.
They are swept with…
Water?
Tears.
They fall slowly.
But surely.
Upon her knees.
So close she holds them.
Holding herself.
Against everything.
Or…
Is everything…
Against her?
Another shallow breath.
Another tear let fall.
Another day gone by…
Without purpose.
Without meaning.
Or…
So she feels.
So she thinks.
So she does not know…
The truth.
The night has fallen, as she looks up to the stars.
Surely something so great could not be…
Without someone to let them be.
But, where is this someone?
Who is this someone?
Yet again questions without answers.
Or are they answers, without questions?
Or are they both?
Or neither?
Why can she not feel?
Can she not think?
Understand?
She feels emotionless.
Numb.
Has she given up?
Searching?
Yearning?
Trying?
Living?
One thought surrounds them all.
One thought to end it all.
But is she really willing?
Or is she really that blind?
Another night without rest.
Another toss.
Another turn.
And all she feels.
Is nothing.
Nothingness.
Nothing more than…
Nothing.
Perhaps she is helpless.
As she always feared.
Perhaps she isn’t good enough.
As she always heard.
Perhaps she didn’t have enough faith.
As she always was scolded.
Perhaps she cannot see.
Cannot feel.
Cannot understand.
As she feels in her heart.
Her heart.
Broken.
Falling apart.
Yet…
Still beating.
Isn’t that worth something?
Or maybe it wasn’t supposed to beat at all.
Maybe…
She was never meant to exist.
But…
She does exist.
Her heart does beat.
As shattered as it is.
Her breath...
As shallow…
Still breathes.
So…
Why then…
Why is she?
Why?
Why can she not find answers?
She is looking.
But is she not looking hard enough?
Or maybe…
It is that…
She is not looking in the right places.
In the right spaces.
In the right faces.
She glances at the water before her.
Drip.
Drip.
Ripples.
No.
This is no time for tears.
Says her thoughts.
Scolding her.
Mocking her.
She shakes her head.
In fear…
Or disgust…
She does not know.
But she looks down into the water.
At the girl before her.
Who is that girl?
Who is the face that she sees?
Is it the face of the lost?
The face of the forgotten?
The face of the abandoned?
The face of the lonely?
Perhaps so.
But perhaps not.
As she looks, she searches.
To find the answers.
Not only within the reflection.
But beyond the reflection.
Beyond the body.
Beyond the mind.
Within the heart.
To find is to lose.
To lose is to find.
She has found that she has lost, but that she has found.
What is this, this thing she has found?
She continues to look.
To search.
When she sees not only herself.
There is another.
A being in the water.
Or…
Beyond the water?
She looks up.
Still holding back...
Everything to which she must let go.
Tears.
Pain.
Anger.
She looks up.
There is a man there.
He’s looking at her.
Looking…
Through her?
But…
What is this expression He wears?
It is not what she usually sees.
When others see her.
Not of anger.
Or frustration.
Of judgement.
Or superiority.
But…
Of…
...Love?
...Understanding?
Forgiveness?
Kindness?
Compassion?
Mercy?
So many things.
To which she knows.
But does not know.
Has seen.
But has not seen.
Has not felt.
He looks at her.
A smile playing upon his lips.
He kneels.
Still smiling.
Eyes twinkling.
They speak for Him.
With firmness.
But gentleness.
He reaches out His hand to her.
He brushes the hair from her eyes.
And smiles bigger.
Deeper.
And as she looks at him.
She feels…
Better?
She tilts her head in curiosity.
For she does not know His name.
Or where He is from.
Or who He is.
But she feels…
Warmth.
As though…
He is…
Radiant…
With light…
True light.
A spark of warmth.
Of hope.
In this land of darkness.
She opens her mouth.
But no words form upon her lips.
She is speechless.
But that is…
Okay?
Perhaps words would ruin the moment.
The feeling of…
Comfort.
She looks at the ground.
And then back at Him.
He is still smiling.
But stays silent.
Saying nothing.
She says nothing too.
But nothing needs said.
She may not know her answers.
But she feels…
She will.
Someday.
As long as He is there.
Everything…
Will be alright.